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Is it almost impossible to have a healthy family life for an ambitious entrepreneur?

I don't have a great family life except for occasional chit chats with mom,dad and my sister. Most of the women I meet wish to settle with me soon as possible as they can't quite comprehend what life of a struggling entrepreneur is. They want me to leave whatever I am doing and take up jobs. But I guess I can't sacrifice my dreams for them so I have parted ways with many. So I am still lonely devoid of a family life and hence I keep myself immersed in work to ignore that personal familial aspect of my life which is nothing but empty space.I can't control the entry of someone in my life but I can for sure control my career by being focused on my entrepreneurial dreams. Works out fine except when you occasionally go to facebook and see your classmates posting snaps of their wife and kids and a part of me craves to have a family. In retrospect I haven't met women who respect entrepreneurs and their profession and see a potential future with them. We are essentially perceived as outliers and society does not have a soft corner for such outcasts :) Any words of wisdom would be welcome.

23 Replies

Lane Campbell
8
0
Lane Campbell Advisor
Lifelong Entrepreneur
I've been an entrepreneur my whole career. While broke and bootstrapping my first company I met a girl who helped me count quarters I had tucked away to afford a frozen pizza for our date. That was over five years ago. We are now engaged and share a love for each other that is more precious than I could possibly articulate in writing.

Don't stop looking for a life partner who understands your ambitions and wants to be there for the ride. You can find it.



Jerry Mahabub
1
0
Jerry Mahabub Entrepreneur
Chairman of the Board and CEO at Astound Holdings, Inc.
I hear ya Liz!! I average about 2 to 4 hours of sleep per night, work 7 days a week for 11 years straight, have not had a vacation with my family in over 7 years, and here I still am in front of my computer day and night, non-stop, and it caused my divorce no doubt! When you make the decision to become an "entrepreneur" you pretty much give up on anything and everything that brings you any kind of personal happiness with your family. Your new family is your team, your company is your life, period. You do not stop, ever, until its done. You wish you could still be studying for finals in college. Being an entrepreneur gives new meaning to an "all-nighter" its more like an "all-lifer"! Of course, we are all after the same goal as entrepreneurs, but be careful, if you have shareholders, they can try and destroy you, they will do anything they can to take your thunder away if they are not happy with the pace of monetization typically due to sub-neanderthal mentalities, and everyone you come across can "do it better" than you can! That is the biggest crock of BS. Be a visionary, and if you can't handle the heat of what it means to be an entrepeneur and give up your entire life to your company, go work for someone else - you will be much happier! If you can handle the heat of the kitchen, good luck and work like you have never worked before, and if you get lucky, you may never have to work again sometime in the future! Last, no matter how good you are at enabling your Sr. Management team to make the right decisions and you try your hardest not to be a bit of a control freak, you will always find something for yourself to do, so scale cautiously and always take however much you think something will cost or how much time it will take, and multiply it by 10 at a minimum, not 3 or 4. That is about it!
Julien Fruchier
7
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Julien Fruchier Entrepreneur
Founder at Republic of Change
It's 3:20 for me and I'm launching a big project tomorrow morning that my team and I are running behind on so I'm catching up. Who in the world would understand this? After many relationships, the one thing that I've found to be true for me is that the women who get me best are those who grew up watching their father working as I do - women with entrepreneur fathers. Looking back, it's undeniable to draw that very clear line.

As for your FOMO when you look around at your friends and acquaintances, I feel you on that too but don't forget the grass is always greener on the other side. Fast forward a decade and a lot of the situations you envy today will be broken marriages or dissatisfied ones at best. Nothing is perfect. Worry about your own path. I find that when you follow what you love (work-wise), what you need shows up at the right moment. Note that "the right moment" is not always "when you want it."

One last word of advice. It's always much easier to meet your partner when you're on top but it's much better to meet them when you're at the bottom. This is not a set rule but if you think about it, it's not difficult to fall in love with a comfortable lifestyle. When you have nothing financially to offer and they love you anyway, there's a much better chance it's true love. In a world of 50% divorce rates, this is something to consider.
John Zamoiski
1
0
John Zamoiski Entrepreneur
Chief Opportunity Officer at ADLarge Media
Finding balance is never easy for an entrepreneur. You worry that the next big idea is just around the corner and you want to be there to catch it or drive it. What you fail to see is that balance helps you become a more successful entrepreneur and a more complete person which makes you more attractive as both a business and life partner. Force yourself to make choices that may not always be in the best interest of the big idea or the big bucks at that moment and you will find that your overall happiness will project in ways you never imagined which will make you more attractive as a business person and as potential social partner.
Donald Maycott
2
0
Donald Maycott Entrepreneur
Vice President, Sales
You must have a balance between family, partner and work. You must learn how to turn off the work clock and have you time. Your family/partner should be number 1 and work is just that work and will always be their. My suggestion would be do what makes you happy but you must have time with family and your partner. It's very lonely if you don't have someone in your life.
Alex Eckelberry
7
0
Alex Eckelberry Advisor
CEO at Meros.io
I have run several successful companies and always maintained a balance. I have a wife and four children. I made time for them, and in fact, my only regrets ever were not spending enough time with them. Of course, there are times when you have to really bear down on work, but you can create the balance.

If you can't make the time, you're not managing your time correctly. Who said you have to work 100 hour weeks to be a successful entrepreneur? That's bullshit. You create the time to have family time.

If you don't create the balance, it will bite you in the ass.
Tyler Goelz
1
0
Tyler Goelz Advisor
Full-Time Traveler & Front-End Developer
I've had a similar experience and luckily had a stint with a girl that wasn't completely understanding of my lifestyle, which is an entrepreneur AND full-time traveler, but was at least supportive in the ways she could be. Though, we reached a point where she could no longer be supportive. As a human being, up-and-beyond being an entrepreneur, I've found it's easier to focus on oneself first. Find happiness and wholeness within yourself before trying to fill any voids with others. The emptiness you feel can not be filled with the presence of others, but instead with your own happiness and self worth. Once you've established this, found yourself, become complete, etc., then it is time to share YOUR happiness with significant others. Until then, you will simply be searching for others to define and fulfill your happiness which is always a slippery slope. -Tyler
Sid Shugart
0
0
Sid Shugart Entrepreneur
--
Absolutely, you have to manage your time better, and set that time aside daily. POM (Peace of Mind) is very important to have and usually your family will/can help with that. Just as you plan your meetings go ahead and plan your family time meetings as well...It will make you more productive and sometimes provide further growth in your vision and general health. Long and short....You control schedule and nobody else.
Michael Barnathan
0
0
Michael Barnathan Entrepreneur • Advisor
Co-Founder of The Mountaintop Program, Google Alum
On the one hand, relationships can be a (welcome?) distraction from entrepreneurship. On the other, ignoring them is a mistake in and of itself. My advice here (not being a good person to give it, but you asked) is to focus a lot of effort on the *search* for a partner who understands and is willing to work with the lifestyle you've chosen, perhaps even another entrepreneur. That will avoid a lot of effort later trying to sustain an unsatisfactory relationship with someone who doesn't understand.

The people who tell you that you should prioritize relationships over entrepreneurship aren't wrong, but they're speaking from their own priorities. I don't believe those priorities are right for everyone. You need to evaluate what matters most to you and make your own decisions about how to allocate time to each.
Antonio Le Mons
0
0
Antonio Le Mons Entrepreneur
Passion Czar ~ Trainer | Coach | Speaker: Passion-based coaching & training for individuals and industry.
Saurabh, I know your pain. I work with entrepreneurs just like you everyday, helping them create the life they want. Many entrepreneurs approach their life in cycles, anticipating that once they get their big dream done they'll focus on the rest. Conventional wisdom suggests that you can't have it all, but "all" is subjective. What's important is that you have WHAT MATTERS TO YOU, which you absolutely can. If you'd like more insight into how you get there, let me know.

Here's a quick 5-question survey that can help you get a snapshot of your level of fulfillment:http://freeonlinesurveys.com/s/qov1fx59ursdqly633654

Here to be of service.
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